Obsessive Post-Party Real Estate Shopping

Okay, by “party” I’ll admit I mean watching 4 episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer with my lady and her best friend. But we had shepherd’s pie made with 2 pounds of ground leg of lamb and several beers, so I think it counts.

I’ve seen a couple of properties in my travels that have made me go “hmmmm,” then “Holy Crap!”, then “Can that be right?” There’s a catch with all of them, it seems, but as far as price per square foot, well…I’ve seen garages sell for slightly less than 1 of these condos. These are some more I-can-buy-that-now-instead-of-waiting properties. See for yourself.

79 OLD STANDLEY ST
Beverly, MA 01915
Price: $159,900

This one says that it needs significant renovation or tear-down, but it’s in the Centerville section of Beverly, which is beautiful, and it’s an awesome example of New England vernacular architecture. It has a nice sized lot, too. $159,900? Is it haunted?

4-4A ROPES ST #UNIT #3
Salem, MA 01970
Price: $64,000

This condo is 740 sq. feet, 2 bedrooms, for $64,000. Bank owned, which has its own issues, and there’s no condo association yet. Bottom line: demon infestations and avocado appliances?

135 HALE ST
Beverly, MA 01915
Price: $284,900

135 Hale is a New England picture postcard cliche, which is why it’s $103 per square foot. Are you the kind of person who buys the Pottery Barn reproduction, or do you like the real old stuff? Over 2600 sq. ft. and a 5000+ sq. ft. lot. Only 2 bedrooms — is that the worm in the apple? Why do you need bedrooms? The yard’s big enough that the kids can sleep in a tent; tell them you’re playing Revolutionary War and if they come inside democracy will fail, we’ll have to eat Branston Pickle instead of ketchup, and when we say “ketchup” we’ll have to spell it “catsup.”