If you think you might be interested in buying a short sale or bank owned foreclosure, get in line. So does everyone else. They may be sexy and alluring commodities right now but keep in mind that these deals aren’t always as sweet as they look. You might be better off courting the girl next door. Here’s a little role play to help explain why.
(No, this isn’t Bahn!)
Eager Buyer: Well, hi ya hot stuff. You sure are cute. What’s your sign?
Foreclosure: Oh great, a smooth talker. Just what I need. Can’t you read?
Eager: Yeah, sign says ‘Bank owned. Make an offer.’ You must have been burned pretty bad.
Foreclosure: That’s right buddy, and I don’t need anyone rubbing salt in my wounds. If you wanna make a deal just say so.
Eager: (licking his chops) Sure, I’ve got a proposition for you. How about your asking price less a third on account of the economy and all.
Foreclosure: (outraged) Are you crazy? Didn’t you hear what I just said! I’m down and out but not an imbecile. You’re not trying to take advantage of me just because I’m in a weak spot are you?
Eager: Oh no, never. I just thought I could help you out. Relieve your load. Soften your burdens. Help you move past all this.
Foreclosure: (In jest) That’s awfully thoughtful and probably a good shake for a home like me but you’ll have to do better. I’ve had lots of lookers.
Eager: Ok. How about if I throw in dinner and movie?
Foreclosure: Move along buster. I’ve seen better overtures than that. Call me when you want to get real.
Eager: (revealing a box of chocolates) But, I just thought you could use a friend right now. That’s all. I didn’t mean to…
Foreclosure: You’re a fool! Don’t you know everyone wants a foreclosure? I’m the ‘it’ girl of the market right now. Take a number and get in line.
Bruised and beaten, tail between his legs, Eager takes his place at the back of the line. Then he notices a delicious young thing ahead of him. “Say, I don’t think I’ve seen you here before….”
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“Satire is protected speech even if the object of the satire doesn’t get it.” – Al Franken