If A House Could Talk
There is something I find hillarious about the personification of inanimate objects. You know, like the Travelocity gnome that travels the world and has crazy adventures although he never moves or blinks an eye? Well, this is my take on what homes would say if they could talk. What would yours say?
Abandoned Property Says: I’m a lovely little creature and I sit here all day long wondering when my owners will come tend to me. I can hardly breathe for all the laundry sitting atop my registers and that stench from the kitchen is making m
y nose run. I once was so happy, children played in my yard and friends came to visit. Now I wonder if I will be forever lonely. Someone please come save me from my misery!
Top of the Market Says: I am king of the hill, owner of my own domain. My name is success. If you want to spend time in my presence, you must be worthy. State your occupation, income and whether or not you work at least 1000+ hours a week. Do you boss your underlings around in a way that makes them feel small and inferior? Do you squalor your money away on fancy private schools and frivolous vacations just to impress your peers? If so, come sit by me and puleeze get that limo off my lawn…you’re killing my pansies!
Regular Old Home Says: I am humble and true. Not fancy, just sort of fantastic because I try. I’ve got a few flaws, but my foundation is strong and I am eager to please. I am loyal to the core and I won’t ever let you down. Just keep my paint fresh and my windows clean and I will stand by you until the end of time.
Not For Sale Says: I shine from the street to my attic. I am spiffy beyond belief. Busy as my owners are, they tend to my every need and I never go without. I am the most loved house on the block. Even though I was hoping for new shingles for Christmas, I got a picket fence instead and have come to love the sound of my front gate latching and unlatching as people come and go.
Foreclosure Says: I am so heartbroken. The nicest couple who dreamed of me for years finally came and made me their own. It was an instant love affair that ended too abruptly. Suddenly, things began to go downhill and they had to give me up. Now I am an orphan and my guardians are desperately trying to find me a new family. Know anyone who could use a really cute condo?
Fixer Upper Says: I once was pretty, you know, better than mediocre to most. Built strong; good foundation, lots of promise. But I started to age and my looks went south. Suddenly people stopped noticing and coming for tea. Now, I sit in the quiet and cats keep me company. Oh, I am so lonely and all alone. How I wish someone would visit.
Recent San Diego Sweet Digs Posts:
San Diego Real Estate in Troubled Waters: SOS! Abandon Ship! Mayday Mayday! We’re Going Down!
Local Spotlight: Who is Robert Griswold?
Monday Madness: Eating Lemon Grove
