The Bottom Three

Let’s get real … it’s fun to read about the week’s most-expensive new listing each Monday, but I bet the percentage of people that actually can afford this week’s $18 million home is slim to none. Instead let me tempt you with this week’s least-expensive new listings: The Bottom Three a la American Idol … which house will be taken off the market this week? I’m no Ryan Seacrest (I lack the spiky hair, cool t-shirts and vertical challenge) mainly because you won’t have to endure endless commercial breaks before getting the scoop … these three clearly are fixers looking for caring and handy buyers.

Foreclosure in Antioch? This $189,900, two-bed, one-bath, 925-square-foot condo is “Bank owned! What an opportunity! Fixer upper!” The kicker: seller will pay $2,000 of your closing costs. Honestly, it doesn’t look that bad.

I normally wouldn’t include a property without pictures, but it’s a fixer so how good could it be!? This Richmond house sits on .11 acres and I won’t bore you with the inside details because the description says it all: “Fixer, fixer, bring your contractor … needs total rehab!”

This one isn’t a fixer per se, but one in need of a good scrub. The description says “super clean,” and maybe it is, but the clutter makes me think otherwise. This $239,999, one-bed, one-bath 611-square-foot condo in El Sobrante reminds me of a “before-staging” picture. At least you can get a good idea of the current occupant … if the seller was to write a personal ad it might read: I am an open book – just look how I leave my kitchen cabinets open for you to peek into. I am a funny person – I post comics on my fridge for all to read. I value my health – I drink bottled water and leave it on the stove top to double as a fire extinguisher. I am a clean freak – look at the clean dishes on the counter, proof that my condo is “super clean!” I love to decorate – air conditioners make grand hat racks and colorful Post-It Notes make great artwork.

What’s your vote?