Bay Area: Do You Really Belong Here?

Forget your psychic friend and magic 8 ball. CurbedSF has it that today’s savvy home hunters leave it to programmers to come up with a way to tell them, via scientific survey, whether a neighborhood is a good fit or not. Indeed, Hoodeo is the “neighborhood match maker,” your online connector of human to ‘hood.

So I gave it a spin- God knows I am having a hard time finding a place I can afford in SF; maybe Hoodeo knows something I don’t.  Among its questions, the survey asks me if I wanted to stay in this city or if I would go anywhere. Since my job and friends and life are here, I actually do want to stay here, but just for fun, I chose “will go anywhere.” Hoodeo also smartly inquires how much I make and how much I “want to spend” on my next home, as well as how big I want it, cleverly reminding me that those square feet I desire will also have to be cleaned (I picked 1000 square feet, and since I had the option, 2 beds and at least 1.5 baths since I share with a man whom occasionally disgusts me). I decided the fair amount to pay, based on what we make, and that we would like to have money left over to travel and buy beer and such, would be 400 to 450K.

I should be, according to Hoodeo, living in Philidelphia. Wait, but you didn’t ask if I like sub-zero winters! I don’t!

Back to Hoodeo then, this time insisting on staying in the Bay Area. If I am to spend what I want to spend, I will need to think about Pacifica, San Bruno, South San Francisco, or– if I want the city proper– Bayview. Wait, you didn’t ask if I like gunfire in my front yard. I don’t!

Needless to say, Hoodeo has left some poignant questions off the list in determining if a ‘hood will fit you. For instance, nowhere am I asked what I think of On Deadline’s report that

Members of the Presidential Memorial Commission tell the San Francisco Chronicle that they’ve already collected 8,500 signatures on a petition to put the proposal before voters this November. If it passes, the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant would be renamed [the "George W. Bush Sewage Plant.]

To which I say: I am home.