Bay Area: Comical, Useless Real Estate Advertisement

House porn I get: you’re looking to buy a house. You want to see the exterior, the interior. You want to imagine yourself cooking something steamy and sinful in that glossy kitchen. You want to plan a party in that backyard, feeling the sunshine (magically captured in the photo) on your graying, coastal climate skin. Sexy.

But why are agents’ self promotion ads also sexy? I am not expecting to buy also the agent, so his/her appearance is really far, far beside the point. Why the glam shot then? Why that weird shine the face? What is that? It just makes agents look plastic, made by Mattel-like, Barbies and Kens; it does not engender trust then, but rather the opposite, because no one in her right mind trusts Barbie and Ken.

I also hate the poses in these ads. They remind me of high school year book photos: gentle, wise prom queen/king, chin on hand, hair just so, glazed “you can-trust-me” expression. Also the wild promises of dreams coming true and ending world hunger and such. Let’s be realistic, shall we? It’s real estate, not a religious conversion. 

Finally, the placement of these ads is often cause for much mirth. My favorite pointless placements are in the small plastic squares that adorn shopping carts. These are particulary entertaining glimpsed in the Golden Gate Park, captured by one of the more intrepid homeless, smattered with dirt and beer and less mentionables. One can just make
out the “are you looking for a home” tagline.

My point here: Agent, save your money. What you spend on bad ads and stiff hair styles, you could offer in kick backs off your commission. Better yet, be real.