Author: Cynthia Pang
Recent posts
January 29, 2007
Let’s get real … it’s fun to read about the week’s most-expensive new listing each Monday, but I bet the percentage of people that actually can afford this week’s $18 million home is slim to none. Instead let me tempt you with this week’s least-expensive new listings: The Bottom Three a la American Idol … which house will be taken off the market this week? I’m no Ryan Seacrest (I lack the spiky hair, cool t-shirts and vertical challenge) mainly because you won’t have to endure endless commercial breaks before getting the scoop … these three clearly are fixers looking for caring and handy buyers.
Foreclosure in Antioch? This $189,900, two-bed, one-bath, 925-square-foot condo is “Bank owned! What an opportunity! Fixer upper!” The kicker: seller will pay $2,000 of your closing costs. Honestly, it doesn’t look that bad.
I normally wouldn’t include a property without pictures, but it’s a fixer so how good could it be!? This Richmond house sits on .11 acres and I won’t bore you with the inside details because the description says it all: “Fixer, fixer, bring your contractor … needs total rehab!”
This one isn’t a fixer per se, but one in need of a good scrub. The description says “super clean,” and maybe it is, but the clutter makes me think otherwise. This $239,999, one-bed, one-bath 611-square-foot condo in El Sobrante reminds me of a “before-staging” picture. At least you can get a good idea of the current occupant … if the seller was to write a personal ad it might read: I am an open book – just look how I leave my kitchen cabinets open for you to peek into. I am a funny person – I post comics on my fridge for all to read. I value my health – I drink bottled water and leave it on the stove top to double as a fire extinguisher. I am a clean freak – look at the clean dishes on the counter, proof that my condo is “super clean!” I love to decorate – air conditioners make grand hat racks and colorful Post-It Notes make great artwork.
What’s your vote?
January 22, 2007
Who writes the fluffy house descriptions?! Out-of-work poets, creative writing students, used-car salesmen? Bottom line: words matter. Real-estate listings, not unlike personal ads, are crafted to minimize blemishes and maximize perceived selling points.
Decoding home marketing-speak can be just as complicated as figuring out what men really mean when they say “I love you” or your girlfriend’s huffy “nothing’s wrong!” A recent Los Angeles Times article gives us a decoder ring for words like motivated, move-in condition, new paint and more.
We evaluated the meaning of a few keywords from this week’s three least-expensive, new listings (the typos are real as well as the screaming text):
$277,000, one-bed, one-bath, 512-square-foot condo in San Jose:
VERY AFFORDABLE = has issues
ZERO DOWN = agent used to be a used-car salesman and will throw in free mats
EXCELLENT CONDITION = well-maintained
AMPLE CLOSET, & STORAGE SPACE = the rest of the unit is so unexceptional and everyone likes big closets
LOVELY & TRANQUIL = no neighbors?
Three $285,000, two-bed, one-bath, 819-square-foot condos in Oakland:
PRICE REDUCTION = desperate … seller overpriced it to start with and eventually had to lower it
Beautiful designer colors = Ralph Lauren was my personal designer
Granite = modern
nw carpts & pnt = we couldn’t find anything better to say … maybe I should have listened to my mother and said nothing at all
$290,000, two-bedroom, two-bath, 944-square-foot condo in Antioch:
2 TONE INTERIOR PAINT = nothing special, but doesn’t two-tone sound cool?
LAMINATE FLOOR ENTRY = this is a selling point? Is this 1970?
UPGRADED CARPET & TILED BATHROOMS = what we had before was BAD, this is a little better
Let’s compare this to the most-expensive new listing this week, a $9.998 million, 8,100-square-foot home in Los Gatos:
THIS PRESTIGIOUS ESTATE = bigger than a breadbox and Robin Leach-worthy
SITUATED ON MORE THAN 6 ACRES OF MAGNIFICENT KNOLL TOP LAND = you will be king of the hill and your neighbors will look like ants
THIS HOME FEATURES A VINTAGE CLAY ROOF, IMPORTED STONE WORK, AND TOP OF THE LINE OLD WORLD FINISHES THROUGHOUT = third-world child labor made this all possible
Check out the article for interesting facts such as …
Homes where the seller was “motivated” took 15 percent longer to sell
Houses listed as “handyman specials” flew off the market in half the average time.
Words that denoted “curb appeal” or general attractiveness helped a property sell faster than those that spoke of “value” and “price.”
Homes described as “beautiful” moved 15 percent faster and for 5 percent more in price than the benchmark.
“Good-value” homes sold for 5 percent less than average.
In conclusion, sellers would be best-served by a listing with “just the facts, ma’am.”
Decoder ring credit: Heather McKinnon, The Seattle Times
January 8, 2007
… they could join the ranks of other celeb exes living near each other “for the sake of the children” … Demi and Bruce, Uma and Ethan, and, until recently, Reese and Ryan. This week’s most-expensive new listing and its neighbor are for sale and look pop-star and wanna-be-rapper worthy.
The gum-chomping, country-girl would feel right at home in this 1927, 5,600-square-foot, $7.95-million home: there’s a bedroom for her and each of the kids, an elevator to prevent tripping up or down the stairs and nearly dropping a child, 5.5 bathrooms to keep her bare feet out of gas station stalls, a two-car garage to make sure at least one of the cars is properly equipped with a car seat and I’m sure there is at least one big walk-in closet to store her unmentionables (at least we hope so!).
See yourself living here instead of the former Mouseketeer? Check out the sneak preview party today (January 
from 4 to 6 p.m.
Now for DJ PopoZao’s sweet digs: also built in 1927, but with 2,240 square feet and selling for $3.95 million. There’s four bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms to show the judge he means business and wants custody of the Brit-pack as well as for weekend visits from the Shar-crew, hardwood and tile floors throughout for hip-hop dance parties and a nice big deck and yard to practice his WWE moves.
Directly across the street from both homes is the Palace of Fine Arts, which was built in 1915 for the Panama-Pacific Exposition and has been used as a backdrop in many movies. The rooftop deck of Brit’s home sports arches that look like they were built to frame the Palace dome. From K-Fed’s house, you can view the Palace from the living room and master bedroom. Maybe the grounds will inspire both to use their fine acting skills again like in Britney and Kevin: Chaotic … but we’d rather “Oops, they didn’t do it again.”
December 18, 2006
Ho, hum. This week’s most-expensive new listing is another multi-million-dollar pad reminiscent of a small village in Tuscany. This $28.5-million, six-bedroom, four-bathroom shack sits on five acres in Hillsborough. Artist studio, wine cellar, guest quarters, three+ fireplaces, pool with cabana and dressing room … yawn. Where’s the story behind the home? The guest house scandal, celebrity cabana catfights, artist studio murders … I guess I’m not writing a Danielle Steele novel, but wouldn’t that be more fun to read about!
There is a comparable home for sale down the street for $7.88 million.
There is a theme to the least-expensive new listings this week: Pillows, not just for sleeping anymore. Pillows and an easel, charming! Pillows and plants, homey! Pillows and candles, safe! Pillows at the front door, random! Yellow hairy pillows that look alive, inviting! Is someone just trying to cover up stains on the carpet, or holes in the wall?!
These pleasant pillow pads are in Concord (one bed, one bath, $170,000) and Rossmoor, a Walnut Creek community, (two beds, one bath, $191,200). I don’t know if the Rossmoor stager got the memo, but isn’t it a gated senior community? I can’t imagine the pillow placement will appeal to someone that prefers a lift chair or a Craftmatic adjustable bed.
What I really found interesting this week were the Zestimates compared to the list prices. There’s been so much controversy about Zestimates (a Seattle newspaper put Zillow to the test) — are they too high, too low, are they the gospel. I think it will be fun to do our own “scientific” research. I’ll check back on these homes later in the year to see what they sold for. Honestly, I view the Zestimates as another helpful research tool, the more info the better!
$28.5: Zestimate is $16.3 million and some change.
$170,000: Zestimate is $266,417
$191,200: Zestimate is $390,322
December 11, 2006
Do you dream of winning the Dancing with the Stars mirror-ball trophy? If so, make sure your next home has its own dance studio like two-time winner and fellow San Franciscan Cheryl Burke and this week’s most-expensive new listing.
This $7 million home is listed on the National Register of Historic Places. “The Dunker House” was designed by Birge Clark, a native of Palo Alto who contributed to the design of 450 buildings in the area. Dubbed “Early California” style, this Spanish-influenced property has a 7,721-square-foot, five-bed, five-bath main house and a one-bed, one-bath guest house on a half-acre lot. With your Redfin refund you might be able to buy the property next door … I hear it’s for sale for an undisclosed amount and would add 10,000 square feet to your lot. This would be one of the largest lots in Palo Alto and recent comparable homes on lots of this size are selling for more than $15 million.
A picture is worth a thousand words, so check out the virtual tour.
If Grey’s Anatomy-style living is more your speed, this week’s least-expensive new listing is a $175,000, 600-square-foot, three-”unit” tenacy-in-common property in Outer Richmond. Built in 1926, the other two units also are for sale for $599,000, $575,000, both 1,500 square feet. I doubt you’ll be sharing your bathroom with Meredith, George and Izzie, but you will get a split bathroom with tub and separate shower. Median list price for condos in Richmond is $622,000.
FYI – No, I don’t work for ABC TV.
